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A MILLI freestyle
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Just a freestyle I wrote, tell me what ya think.
Forums Home > Text Collabo & Keystyle Lab > Just a freestyle I wrote, tell me what ya think.
Replies in this thread: 6
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rap_gurl
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12/6/2006 4:48:07 PM reply with quote send message to rap_gurl

My life was over even before it began
It ended the day I saw the pigs and ran
And I never had the chance to show who I am
They took one look at me and decided not to give a damn
And now they keep reminding me I’m a criminal
By making you live on the minimal
They only just keep you alive
Thank God I am only doing a 4 to 5
Every time I open my eyes the walls are there
With their grey color cold and bare
It’s true what everyone is told
After a while inside everyone turns cold
If you get in trouble or fights
They strip you of your human rights
They stuff you in a tiny cell
Where life becomes a living hell
It takes a toll on your head
Slowly your heart is dead
The glow in your eyes
It also slowly but surely dies
Then one day by dawn
You realize your soul is totally gone

Godzilla
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12/6/2006 4:50:19 PM reply with quote send message to Godzilla Post Reply

this post has been edited 1 time(s)

shit, life ain''t TOO bad in the box if they lettin you on the internet! laugh :D

BE THANKFUL!


reggie
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12/6/2006 5:12:34 PM reply with quote send message to reggie Post Reply

this post has been edited 1 time(s)

quote
posted by Godzilla
shit, life ain''''t TOO bad in the box if they lettin you on the internet! laugh :D

BE THANKFUL!



its good though


shivas HeroLike
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12/11/2006 2:11:57 PM reply with quote send message to shivas HeroLike Post Reply

not bad, try adding more imagery with concrete examples.

nonetheless , a pleasure reading


Chi Money
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12/11/2006 2:23:40 PM reply with quote send message to Chi Money Post Reply

quote
posted by Godzilla
shit, life ain''t TOO bad in the box if they lettin you on the internet! laugh :D

BE THANKFUL!

Word! lmfao

But all in all, nice flow, coulda used more imagery though, 1



Kellron
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12/11/2006 4:18:02 PM reply with quote send message to Kellron Post Reply

I guess ........






















Native_Honey
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12/11/2006 4:58:27 PM reply with quote send message to Native_Honey Post Reply

its really simple and plain. if there was a bit more imagery and maybe a few multies or some sort of rhymescheme it be ok...keep elevating.....

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