Posts: 109
Sex: male
Join Date: Feb,
2007
Location:
retired
Favorite MC's:
Eminem, Stat Quo, Ca$his, The Game, Papoose,
8/16/2007 6:36:44 PM
this post has been edited 1 time(s)
yo...
Every hour each day I''m tryna be a success, Getting power no play tryna cease the rest, Never cower no way gotta decease the vets, release the tech check for I decrease ya sets, an leave ya vest wet believe I won''t fret, ya recieve a death threat its from me but don''t sweat, I may decieve just ta see how you be when under pressure, as I percieve secretly, logically like a professor, I''ll reprieve you of ya g''s, relieve you of ya cheese, I believe that lyrically Ima g and Ima do as I please go on a spree shooting d''s on the street, You betta plea for the sake of ya seeds cos you were chasing the cheese and stood on toes ta get were you be you were desperate ta reach tha top now you there indeed you as high as can be chilling in heaven beside me, reminiscing together bout what might''ve been, You managed ta pull the trigger same time as me But its too late for regret as the evironment changes, We begin descent spiralling dangerous, Temperature ranges but the heat is painless Demon-sounding cackles, now we''re bound by shackles, Figures looming over compounding our fear, Evil hounds become clear and the sounds become near, Death is all around us rebounding off the sphere, In which we''ve become trapped, a figure draws closer, its claws holding a toaster points it to my head and says ''Bitch I''m gon'' roast ya'' he pulls the trigger, clack clack and the world turns black Wake up lying on my back bound by chains, Body grazed from lying on da ground of grains, Figures looming over compounding our fear, Evil hounds become clear and the sounds become near, Death is all around us rebounding off the sphere, In which we''ve become trapped, a figure draws closer, its claws holding a toaster points it to my head and says ''Bitch I''m gon'' roast ya''...
haha just a lil'' summin if you didn''t get it well he... ah work it out for yourself, appreciate the feed y''all...
There was really no wordplay or anything in this piece to really help it. All I got out of it was more "tough-guy" talk, single syllable rhymes, & mis matched multies. The flow was still good though. Just try to write about something the next isn't, feel me?
Figures looming over compounding our fear, Evil hounds become clear and the sounds become near, Death is all around us rebounding off the sphere, In which we''ve become trapped, a figure draws closer, its claws holding a toaster points it to my head and says ''Bitch I''m gon'' roast ya''...